She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
