Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize