Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
