Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
