I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
