I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
