I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
