After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
