Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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