she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
