people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
