Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My feet surprised me
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