Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
