She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
