We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
