think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
