carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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