Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
