any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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