Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
