Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
