Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
