Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
