It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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