is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
