hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
