did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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