The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i think i scared a bird with my dick
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
