it was like eating out sand paper
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
