Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
