Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
