census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize