Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
