You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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