You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
