you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
