So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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