What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
