you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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