oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
