you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
