If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
