is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hippo gnu deer
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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