Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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