tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
