btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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