She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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