At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
