He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize