why do cheetos always look like penises
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
