Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
