I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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