I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize