Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
