Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm too high and old for this...
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