you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
