You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
