Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
