shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
These tits shall not be calmed
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
