Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
