My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everclear isn't food dammit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
