Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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