Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
